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Wanted: large chimney to rent for the evening of December 24th
Verity Spencer suddenly realized that the lack of a chimney will gravely affect her Christmas, so she asked us to place this 'Wanted' advert: "I asked Santa Claus for an Austin Seven (or anything based on the Austin Seven license) and after taking careful measurements, I will need to rent a chimney, in order to take delivery of my present.
I have been exceptionally good this year, in the hopes that it would pay off in teeny-tiny wheelbase Christmas morning. I really struggled this year on what to ask want to ask Santa for... there are so many automobiles that would delight me. I finally settled on an Austin Seven, because all the components will fit in my bath tub for cleaning if needed AND I can move it around without enlisting an army of strong men.
I have sketched a sample chimney with rough dimensions (see image). Prewar chimneys preffered, but will consider all offers."
Please, if you have a large chimney that could be economically rented, then serious (and not so serious) offers are eagerly awaited through our 'Comment Box' below.
Pubblicato:
sabato dicembre 15th, 2012
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Commenti
Sconosciuto
22 Dicembre 2012, 01:49
Sconosciuto
21 Dicembre 2012, 17:29
I know of the very thing - two in fact, and they have been puzzling me for some time. There are two large brickworks chimneys at Stewartby in Bedfordshire and, although the brick works has been demolished, there is a large estate agents sign at the gate saying "Two Grade 2 listed chimneys for sale or to let". Now I asked myself, why would anybody want to rent or even buy two isolated chimneys in the middle of a derelict site? So now I have the answer! Thank you Verity.
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Cullen Wetmore
20 Dicembre 2012, 19:19
Hello Ms. Spencer,
I think I may have just the Chimney for you:
[img]http://redbeacon.s3.amazonaws.com/homeguides%2Farticles%2Fthumbs%2Fdangers_of_blocked_chimneys.jpg.600x275_q85_crop.jpg[/img]
It comes complete with an organic, renewable spark arrester, incorporates our new Santasafe® anti slip technology, and, most impressively, it is [i]expandable[/i] to accommodate even the most grandiose requests. Why, just year, Santa used this chimney to accommodate a '29 Duesenburg (OK,maybe a couple scratches, which I was able to polish out...) but still, the car was (mostly) OK afterwards... I have full confidence it will accept your Austin just fine. I have only one of these fine chimney's left, and I shall reserve it for you. Please contact me to make arrangements.
Regards,
Cullen
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I think I may have just the Chimney for you:
[img]http://redbeacon.s3.amazonaws.com/homeguides%2Farticles%2Fthumbs%2Fdangers_of_blocked_chimneys.jpg.600x275_q85_crop.jpg[/img]
It comes complete with an organic, renewable spark arrester, incorporates our new Santasafe® anti slip technology, and, most impressively, it is [i]expandable[/i] to accommodate even the most grandiose requests. Why, just year, Santa used this chimney to accommodate a '29 Duesenburg (OK,maybe a couple scratches, which I was able to polish out...) but still, the car was (mostly) OK afterwards... I have full confidence it will accept your Austin just fine. I have only one of these fine chimney's left, and I shall reserve it for you. Please contact me to make arrangements.
Regards,
Cullen
Sconosciuto
18 Dicembre 2012, 16:57
not sure Santa's slate can carry the Austin....hhhhh Merry Christmas!
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Sconosciuto
17 Dicembre 2012, 15:14
Have you considered the reindeer? I know it's only a small car but I firmly believe that Santa will need at least 4 extra reindeer to deliver it? And have you considered the health and safety issues? A heavily loaded sledge on a pitched roof sounds dangerous. Safety audit required!
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Sconosciuto
17 Dicembre 2012, 15:00
I suggest approaching Battersea Power Station, as the temporary use of one of theirs should be affordable !
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Robin
17 Dicembre 2012, 13:08
AS soon as I read how Verity chose the Austin 7 because "...all the components will fit in her bath..." I immediately recalled a cartoon published by PUNCH in 1928.
And now a Christmas joke with a chimney theme...
Q. What goes up a chimney down, but not down a chimney up.
A. An umbrella.
Happy Christmas!
Robin.
[img]http://gordonbennettbooks.com/punch.jpg[/img]
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And now a Christmas joke with a chimney theme...
Q. What goes up a chimney down, but not down a chimney up.
A. An umbrella.
Happy Christmas!
Robin.
[img]http://gordonbennettbooks.com/punch.jpg[/img]
Sconosciuto
16 Dicembre 2012, 19:05
Ironic..that an army of strong men will NOT be required to move the vehicle.Yet,that's exactly what will be needed to build the chimney!
BanjeauX Bob
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BanjeauX Bob
Sconosciuto
16 Dicembre 2012, 08:48
If I were Santa I would be slightly suspicious of this request.
The first principle of Christmas present lists is that you always ask for something at least 3 times larger and 3 times more expensive than the thing you really want. A Sunbeam or the like would have ticked the A7 box without further scrutiny.
And renting chimneys? Verity, where have you been? You can't rent a chimney at this time of year; they're booked up for decades in advance.
Verity also claims to have been 'exceptionally good' over the last 12 months. If this is the case, surely, to come all this way and not gen up on the form is daffy in the extreme.
Sorry, a couple of tangerines and a bag of walnuts is your lot Verity. Next one please.
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The first principle of Christmas present lists is that you always ask for something at least 3 times larger and 3 times more expensive than the thing you really want. A Sunbeam or the like would have ticked the A7 box without further scrutiny.
And renting chimneys? Verity, where have you been? You can't rent a chimney at this time of year; they're booked up for decades in advance.
Verity also claims to have been 'exceptionally good' over the last 12 months. If this is the case, surely, to come all this way and not gen up on the form is daffy in the extreme.
Sorry, a couple of tangerines and a bag of walnuts is your lot Verity. Next one please.
Sconosciuto
16 Dicembre 2012, 08:38
Truthfully that was a terrible mistake ...
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Sconosciuto
16 Dicembre 2012, 07:49
I could understand if you were asking for a 1912/13 Bebe Peugeot but it is doubtful if a request for an Austun would really be wanted,
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Sconosciuto
16 Dicembre 2012, 04:23
Verity means truth, is normally a girls name....I think you might have your sexes mixed up.
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http://img.groundspeak.com/waymarking/log/83d86d1f-ca9a-46a2-8f76-42508bf2edaa.JPG